Bigger, Badder, Better... But Mostly Bigger

Welcome back to the neither new nor improved (but more recently updated) bunny blog! I finally got around to summarizing Daisy’s recent history, which merely means that I became more bored NOT doing the blog than I previously was doing it.

As most of you know, Daisy is once again a single bunny. Things just didn’t work out between her and Buster; they had a lot in common (eating and pooping a lot), but their long-term compatibility was jeopardized by Daisy’s daily asskickings of the poor guy.

Scene of the crime:



Fortunately, Buster found a great new home nearby to call his own; you can expect periodic updates on his progress. Early word is that he’s enjoying the taste of his new caretaker’s homework. Mmm, trigonometry.

For her part, Daisy is living the high life once again. Indeed, if her existence at present had a soundtrack, it would be composed entirely of cheesy Steve Winwood songs. She no longer has to share her beloved pellets or her traditional lounging spots – certainly no one disputes her claim to the eight inches of space between the couch and wall. In rabbit terms, this is competitive real estate.

Go ahead, just tell me this spacious mansion isn't worth having any friends:



I’m fairly certain she was doping up on BGH (Bunny Growth Hormone) in order to intimidate her erstwhile housemate, so she’s looking pretty big these days. Her mane has gotten fuller, and the new scruff, along with her sweater-esque appearance and disaffected attitude, label her as perhaps the world’s first and only hipster rabbit. This notion was confirmed the other evening when I walked into her room and her cage was littered with PBR cans. Was it just my imagination, or did I hear some Arcade Fire playing in here just now?



She made out like a bandit last Christmas, nabbing not only the obligatory treats but a new stuffed animal friend as well. She gave it the customary introduction by having sex with its face, but their relationship has matured and she now focuses on giving it haircuts with only an occasional quickie.

Here's a pre-faux-coitus picture I surreptitiously snapped. I really hope someone Googles "bunny porn" expecting Playboy models and finds this pic instead. The look on the lion's face is priceless - something between "Wait a minute, wasn't Hump Day yesterday?" and "How can this be consensual when neither of us can make noise?"



You may notice in the above picture that she now has a jute carpet in her room which she uses extensively for running, jumping, and plain old asslazing. She also enjoys nibbling on the pieces of fiber jutting out from the carpet. If you’re keeping score, Daisy hates men, doesn’t shave, and loves to munch on carpet. Go ahead and get your jokes out now. I know I have.

Stay tuned, boys and girls, for more updates from the one and only Butch- er... Daisy buns!